I can talk with someone at my home.
It is nice to have someone at home you can talk with or communicate. Indeed, conversation with psychologist has its characteristics and certain advantages in comparison with chat or serious private conversation with someone.
What is similar to private conversation?
When therapist decides to work with somebody, upon definition, he has an obligation to accept such client as such. So, there is no place for pretending. Since the therapist is alive person not a robot, then the therapist could be sincerely glad seeing the clients progress, achieved success, or if the client made a concrete change in communication wiht himself, other persons or with entire life. Therapist shows that in words and gestures, attitude as anz other person. It means that such meetings could look like, in theirs sincerity and cordiality, some relationships from the private life and they are emotional.
Which is a major and important difference in relation to private conversation?
The key and quality difference of such conversation and some private confiding lies in the fact that therapist is not burdened by unpleasant experiences that client has, so, the therapist can be focused and to listen to problems and help in defining of solutions. Professional, therapist, under definition, is a person who, at the first place, works on his own balance and mental and emotional health and therefore does not burden a relationship with the client. As an expert in any other profession the therapist is fully capable to keep his own acute or actual problems (the therapist is a human been only) out of clients reach. Expert knowledge ot the therapist is the most important fact making him more efficient in conversation with the client. For example, if clients comments:”I know it, but it is stronger than me!” therapist will make a series of steps and together with client go out from dire strait in which the client behaves as helpless („…it is stronger than me! “). In the same situation the friend or parent will be helpless if face with such comment….Their conversation will, usually, end with famous sentence: “I know it is stronger than you but you have to do it!!!!”. An so, again a blind alley….Therefore, private conversation within the family or with friends cant be always the choice instead the conversation with an expert.
There is additional reason for which is good to address to the professional person. In our lifetime we are overwhelmed by own problems and problems of our family members. And it has been lasting for a long period of time…. I suppose than you had noticed that people do not socialize as they used to, they are not gathering spontaneously so often, there is not real which to see anybody. This is because they are tired of conversations mentioning only (accrued) problems; problems to be discussed but not solved. This is a reason why we have started to avoid people that complain while we stopped to complain to other aware that we will burden them. Problems are piling up, last, and will never be solved by themselves alone – we are sad, unsatisfied, hurt, afraid, suffer from insomnia, it is becoming hard to stay focused….. To whom we can complain when all other have problems as well.
What to do? We suffer, repress, pretend that these are not serious problems, we convince ourselves and other that is the life ….But, we do not improve, it seems that suffering is not sufficient solution because the body and physical health start to fail. Episodes of high pressure are more often and finally it becomes permanent as well as a headache. Not to mention digestion and stomach and guts problems…. There are hieroglyphs appearing on the skin. The man cant be in peace! As much as the person is ready to suffer, not to complain, the list of problems is increasing meaning that is the right time to visit specialist. All this could have been avoided if we did not suffer our internal unrest and discontent. This is well known situation: Whoever doesnt pay on the bridge, will pay on the bridgeworks…
Where is that bridge?
Psychological counseling centers. Relay to this new friend who can and knows to be your constructive support in your frustrating sitution or over-demanding communication with others. But, as it is not possible that every person can be your friend and soul made, the same, all psychologists are not equally good for you. You have to make choice.
In last thirty years, the various methods and techniques were designed (methods) for solution of emotional, mental and social problems in people. These modern techniques are efficient, many of them intended for therapist to train the client to recognize himself, define own problem and to name it and solve. It is possible to change primal position of helpless and take situation into own hands within 5-6 visits to psychological. Festival “Body as a life compass” takes place in Belgrade in May each year (www.telozivotnikompas.org), where you can learn and try various types of psychotherapy in service for balance of soul and boy. You will see how much it defers in relation to such consultations presented in movies.
Psychological counseling centers „Jazz“ which I established in 1998 offers many information on its website www.jazzord.com. In the Blog you can see many information showing difference between psychiatrist and psychologist, what is counseling and what is psychotherapy, which are life strategies we used at the time we are facing with provocation etc. I thank to Mr. Djordje Jovicic who provided me an opportunity to in this “loud” manner inform people on existence of the profession and colleagues in this profession who, in these difficult moments could be a good guide and support through life, private and business difficulties.
Milena Kostić, psychologist